Sunday, January 30, 2005
heLo,
i jus need a peace..a peace of mind, surrounding and everything...arghh..i jus need a peace and i need a break...i need to finds out who am i actually...im so confused...did, i did the right thing???
Hiash...who am i actually???
Did, i do the right thing? did, hurting ppl heart makes me a right thing to do? even my heart are also hurt...wad, really shud i do...why, im alwys getting ppl hurt even i realized i did a wrg things..but, i can forced myself to be happy, no problem and watever is it...i tried to forced myself but in the end i cant..i really cant...dats not me...jus to makes ppl happy i sascrificed my own feelings...gawd..i hate it wen hurts ppl feeling esp love....why, wen in relationship matters theres must be problem with me...im a fickle minded or wad??? i jus need my own true loves..dats all...why me...wen love matters....im losing out...falling apart...i really cannot set up my mind...shit...i hate this...i hate myself in this matters....i still never felt the true love...gawd...i hurt him...i hurt anyones..i hurt you...i hurt everyone....and i hurt myself too....i really hope this the last time i hurt ppl feelings....i really wished too...i pray to god...god's wills.....
i really hope this a gd choice dat i did...leave him....a gd fer both of us.....
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
im having a great time eventhough im really tired...today, first day in sch was really a great time fer me...but kinda sux im d only malay girl in d class..hahhaa...but luckily the guys are totally fwenLy and a fooLing clown....
Today, practical wow..damned hard and mus to put all ur full energy into it...dirty, dusty, blacky, oily, hotty, cheecky and watsoever...Luckily, i done a lil bit on my project..Thnks Nasri he helped me so much..explaining in details...i tink w/out him i cant do my project...
Break time lepak with the guys outside d sch...smoking but i dont smoke..jus chilling with dem and bck to practical again...
Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Today went to ite amk regarding my application..yups...tomorrow starts school at 10.00 but as a new student i need to come earlier 9.30. Mr anthony gonna to introduced us our lecturer. well, jus now 8 student in waiting lists..1 are gone and 6 of us in the same class and one of it in class d..he ask fer a change got his classmates dere...
more to go....
cont my story tmrw...
*tired rite now...
Monday, January 24, 2005
She's feeling despressed today...BITCH
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Thinking of you makes me go crazy it jus cant stop it...i really hate it you know that? But, i don't know whether you're thinking of me too? kinda torturing myself..Every seconds, minutes, hours and evrytime make myself uncomfortable what i do is always not right for me...i really wish you really mean it...yupx...Cause i started to have feeling towards you. Hahaha...*sigh* if you read this i know you will laughing at me? mebbe! and you will feel honour cause you didnt clap ur one hand.... well, i hope we are right for each otha...yups...
You been waiting for the answer "yes" from my own mouth. But, you know i kept saying i don't know. Cause i dont know what to say to you. hahaa...you said that waiting can be tortured...im sorry about that...I hope you didnt change you mind about it...*bismilahirahmanirahim* i dont' want to lose you but i dont know am i really the girl in your heart or can i makes you happy...haish..thinking also quite torturing not jus waiting....
Actually im scare to start it again. i scare to get hurt and get dumped..i dont want to start it again. i just hate to have this feeling...i jus simply hate it...but, u makes me into this again...i just don't want to be like my past...i jus hate being hurt or getting you get hurt or wateva lah....but, but but you start it...i hate it...you come to my life is really hurt me...well, you ask me to forget about my past and the present involved me...should i put my selfishnes behind me and should i start a new life again? and give u a chance and myself too?
Friday, January 21, 2005
Yesterday, im having a great time talking to him. yupx. we talked thru d phone till morning.This is my first time im talking to the fone long hours that i never expected. ya...=) we shared everything, interest, hobbies, foods, expectation and lotsa more. We have the same thinking and views...i means all same..dislike and likes...everything...*gwad* izit, this a present from god? hopefully. He makes me crazie all the times...ya ya ya...*grins*[recalled back]*grins*....
Hey, i really hates this...shit...how can i talk about my past to him? shit...he likes that and keeps saying thank you and wateva...i hates to recalled my past but he makes me to...*i wished i can turn back the clock and shut my farking mouth* Erghh....@#$#$%^%$^$@........and i never expected him to say those words yesterday...shit..please..tell me this is just a dream and fantasy..arghh..i hate it...i hate this thigy farking feeling...he confessed his feeling to me and i started *heart beats running faster* to feels cold suddenly...what shud i say to him??? he wants the answer but i dunnoe and i started to be retarted...*i dunno wad to say..i dunno wad to say*..i say thank you...hhahaha...he laffing over dere...shit...
i dunwan to start it again..im afraid.....
*confused and dazed*
Thursday, January 20, 2005
-*jumping like a crazie woman*-
you msg me...u msg me...asking me have i taken my dinner and you say u miss me? and u say im the only one who doesnt miss you...ahakz...bole crazie if noe hw i feel rite now...hhaaa...oh no i start to crazie....please helps me i start to be crazie...haiyak...*sob, sob, sob.....
Heloo...im so bored but im happie...haha. am i bein crazie? *sort*....hahahaha....im so happie, but i don't no why i feel so happy...*happie.happie.happie*...lallalaaa....jus ignored me k...im crazie...
im so bored my prepaid low. i cant send msg to my dearest crazie bongok fwen. i missed bongok so much..bongok will makes me happy and crazie like bongok..too bad bongok. i cant be selfish that i the only want to keep bongok by myself. i noe bongok lotsa fwens. Bongok wont feels bored like yesterday mebbe now bongok wont feels bored like i do...bongok will feels happy...haish....bongok told me miss me...yaya...i cant believed wad u say lah bongok...u always making fun of me and i will get angry but u sae not ur intention...haiya...jus stopped thinking about you lah...bole crazie....ahahahaa....=)
Follow ibu to sheng siong buy grogeries for tmrw...it so pack of ppl. im so pening. Luckily got naufa she's accompany me and running around at the supermarket..she's so cute..hahhaa..but too bad she's didnt follow us went we are gooing back home. she's follow her nani...nvm, tmrw we will meet again...
Wednesday, January 19, 2005
Hey, thnks for tagging and still tuned on to my blogs...today, i will not blogging...im totally tired, exhausted, sick, sleppy and wateva thingy goin on into me....im desparately need a sleep.....a peacefully gdnitez sleep....bah!!!........TATA......
i woke up this morning at 8 plus not as usually time i used to woke up.... Im having a great time even im so tired yesterday...yupx..
Yesterday, went for a job interview at Taka...Fashion Lab... Haish, it so farking shit to find the boutique at taka and we ask the cashier where's the job vacancy and she's said " Go, to level 10"...Level 10? wad the hell...so linda and i take a lift but only level 7...we went down to that place again level 3 and ask the security guard..he say the same things again...ok, well..take the lift again.At level 7 we ask the indian security guard luckily he show us the correct way is the otha tower...Level 10...guess wad? They say, not here its level 3....wait3...wad d hell which ones? level 3 or level 10??? went back again, ask where's the fashion lab at this old lady...gawd, she's really nice and she helped us to find the fashion lab...she's so nice....and we found it...a small2 boutique and lotsa ppl went fer the job interview...
In the train, going back home the modelling agency called me at my hp...she's want me today to went down at Taka level 2..she's need to talk to me...i cant make it actually cos today i need to go to imm...but, she's say only 10 mins...okey...den, she called linda the same things...we were shocked why the modelling agency called us? Hahaa....before we went to taka there's a lady approached me and linda looking for a modelling for thier magazine cover....Hahahhaa....we laffing like hells..cant stop laffing...why, she chose us...mebbe we r tall....but, i dunt trust this thingy modelling....
Today, we are going to Imm...hopefully, they really wants both of us....yupx....
Yesterday, someone really makes me Happy...i hope our fwenship will never ends...we tok on the fone till morning until his hp battery flat...hahaaaa....:P
*tired and happy today...so worth while*
Monday, January 17, 2005
Actually today im going out with maha to City Hall go interview at watson. But i didnt promised her that im going. In the end im not going out with Maha cos i misplaced my black file where i filled all my cert inside. So, Maha call me and im not goin.
Bored to the core i switch on ma comp and check email.Linda in the msn.we chatted for awhile and she need to gtg. About a few mins she sms me asking me out to town w/out futher thinking i say yes. i miss her so much for 1 yr 1 month we never go out together as we used before when we r secondary school...
We meet at 2 at wdls mrt. First stop we enter the hereen..just window shopping and lookung for a job there...and we met haizah there. she's werking and we chatted asking hows our life and all wateva thingy...She's getting married this year. Linda and me jus stared to each other and we both noe what in each otha minds..."she's getting married and so when our turns to come?"....
We left the Heeren about an hour and suddenly we saw Sly outside the hereen...we stared to each other..in my mind "is that sly?" and 2 chinese lady behind sly says " ya, ya correct"...i tink they whats in our mind and our fucking shocking face....Hhahaa....
we turns behind and say to the two lady mebbe is sly sisters " can, we take pics with sly?"
WE farking happy when she say yes....he so cute.....
Linda and sly...
me and sly...
and us....
After, taking pics with sly we went for a walked and suddenly bird shited at Linda jean..Having our lunch at sakura...i ordered beef char siew and pepsi...it so delicious....Ater lunch we went to Taka linda wants to buy cookies at famous amos and while we were walking theres a sale at Fwomen Fmen shop....Gosh, Sales Sales Sales..$10 reductions while stock last...Aper lagi tunggu being crazie choosing all the long sleeves and trying out....
Bird shit.....hahahhaa
Fox.co....
Today is my aunty wedding... she's look different with her make up..Totally different like a ugly duckling to a beautiful swan...Hey, i didnt mean that she's ugly..i just so shocked looking at her cos she nvr makeup before...she's so different....she nvr have bf before and one day they having a family outing with her dad fwen and frm there the guy falliin in love with her....romantic huh....hahaha.....
I hate minah reps...overthere got two minah reps wearing a shade and perasan jambu...uwweee. i simply hate minah reps...
i just hates some people said" Eeee...Minahs/mats reps, benci nyer aku....aku tk suke sak minahs and mats reps*"..... They jus say it without been ashamed and not realised it that the type they wearing mcm minah2 or mat2....and sometimes they doestnt look like one of minah2 or mat2 but thier bf/gf are simply one of the reps family....duh...mcm pig....jus fuck off k....i really hates all the hypocrites...pissed off.....
Sunday, January 16, 2005
aunty and husbandwif her parents.
all the uncles and grandmotha....
no comments...abt this
Saturday, January 15, 2005
Im bored, bored and bored...*sigh*..........i dunnoe wad im going to do wif my bored.... Anyone please help me.....im begging you..... i try to get sleep and i can't shut my eyes... tossing, turning and watever..... shit, i try to make myself get to sleep ... but, it doest help me at all....
Do sit up about 20 times....*breath and inhale* again and again....everynight/everymorning...
Flatten my tummy... Haish, this holidays for me gain my weight and tummy getting grew bigger... Dats not going to be and im ashamed walking ard this world showing my fat tummy... Thats not going to be... i should do it again..... be right back.....
*15 mins had passed*
Im back again....tired... gasp for breath... i need oxigen and water....
And im still fresh awake from my beauty sleep.... Oh, eyes please shut and make ur master to sleep.... Nah, talking to myself again and again... im goin crazy and retarded ....what im going to do? hmmm???? * 5 mins had passed* * 1 mins stare at the comp still thinking what going to do*
remember now....i should watch VCD gotta give yesterday im uncle borrow it to me....
i really this wish this story are lame and make myself get to sleep.....
Bubye....
Hey do u see this pic???
thru ma kitchen window.....
frm my bedroom.....
This nyonya, i think she living with her daughter. i caught her peeping us at her kitchen...
And sometimes i saw her throwing rubbish at night by the window while i was going to the bathroom.....
Hahaha..i dont mind she peeping us....Maybe she trying to makes friend with us...who noes right....can see from far she's friendly nyonya.....
Friday, January 14, 2005
Cleaning my room. Sweep the floor. Clear the rubbish.
Clean the wardrobe and so on.......
Tired and sleepy....Zzzz
A brand new year. A brand new blog.....
